Habit-Driven Success: Aligning Your Life with Your True Self

Discovering Your True Motivation: From Goals to Lasting Change

Have you ever wondered, "What's motivating me?" Have you considered if the goals you have will bring you the happiness and fulfillment you want?

When I was younger, I was an A student. I was a well-behaved kid. I didn't need strict rules from my parents; I followed them willingly.

My motivation? To prove my dad wrong.

As I moved away and cut ties with my father, my motivation shifted. I worked two jobs and climbed the management ladder. I was driven by the determination to not rely on anyone.

When an important relationship ended, I found myself going back to school and focusing on personal growth. My new motivation was to become a person who would thrive in a relationship.

After college graduation, when it was time to take the next steps in my life I didn't know what to do. Instead, I fell into a deep depression, accomplishing nothing for years.

It was during this period of stagnation that I realized something profound. All my previous actions had been motivated by external factors.

The desire to be the person my father couldn't criticize, the invincible one, or the ideal partner. I had lost sight of what mattered to me. I had neglected my own heart and desires, giving myself the chance to listen.

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I have had numerous significant life experiences in my 41 years. So it is surprising to me that this past year was the most transformative. It was the first year that I felt I was finally becoming myself.

There are two big factors that made my life more fulfilling and authentic.

The first was realizing where my motivation was coming from. This allowed me to discover what I really wanted. You can't figure out what YOU want if you aren't sure what where your motivation comes from. This is the first step to making a significant change.

The second is shifting from being goal-driven to habit-driven.

When Did We Decide the Goal Is All That Matters?

Many of us have been taught to set goals and work relentlessly toward them. We've had successful years where we achieved our goals and less successful ones where we fell short. But have we ever paused to ask why?

This year, my approach to "goals" shifted. My objectives became less defined, with the primary intention of living intentionally. I viewed my goals as guiding lights, providing direction rather than rigid structures. It wasn't until I read "Atomic Habits" by James Clear that I understood why this change had such a significant impact.

Clear explains that it's not the goals themselves but the systems we create that matter. It's our processes and habits that determine the winners or losers in the pursuit of goals. This insight sheds light on why some winners consistently achieve their objectives.

This doesn't mean we should discard goals altogether. Instead, goals should serve as markers on our journey to developing lasting changes.

Rethinking Success: How to Make Lasting Changes That Stick

As we embark on a journey toward change, we often face moments of temptation and doubt. It's day five of working toward a goal, and the initial enthusiasm begins to wane.

The inner battle of "do it" or "don't do it" ensues.

We often push ourselves with thoughts of how great we'll feel when we reach our goal, promising not to give up. And when this approach works. We hit our goal, feel great for a while, and then our habits gradually fade away.

James Clear reminds us that achieving a goal results in momentary change. We may achieve our goal, but have we created lasting change? Instead of setting a goal and working backward. Choose a permanent change you want for yourself. Take time to understand why it's important to you. Changes that align with our core values. Goals should become measurements of progress, not the sole objective.

Unlocking Happiness: Why Goals Might Be Holding You Back

Have you ever achieved a goal only to feel underwhelmed by the experience? The pride, excitement, and joy are fleeting. You find yourself wondering why it didn't live up to your expectations.

Or the times when you don't meet your goal. Your brain tells you that you've failed, even if you've made progress and put in hard work.

James Clear's assertion that "goals restrict your happiness" might initially seem surprising. But it makes sense.

Placing all our hopes and happiness on a single goal can blind us to the progress we've made. The hard work, determination, and growth we've experienced shouldn't be diminished. Even if we fall short of our goal. Every step forward should feel good and make us proud. We shouldn't be miserable throughout the journey to our goals.

Wrap Up

Understanding your motivation and changing your mindset to one focused on lasting change. These two shifts make the process of creating new habits less daunting and tedious. Which means you are less likely to stick with it and actually make sustainable changes. And when these changes align with who you really are, they lead to a more fulfilling and authentic life.

Goals are still useful. But they should be viewed as markers of progress not the sole source of happiness. When your actions match your core values you have a greater sense of purpose. And the joy extends beyond achieving specific goals.

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